Taken Away

This afternoon I watched you climb into the backseat of Momo's van and then I watched you ride away. I know that you will only be gone for a week, but I will admit that I had tears in my eyes. I already miss you dearly and it has only been a couple of hours. Oh my how my life has changed because of you!

Tomorrow I go in for another surgery. I know that I have spent alot of time in the hospital and away from you in the past two years, but we are praying that this will be the last! It will be few months before we will know for sure, but we are confident that things will go very well.

Despite all of that, I feel the need to write you this letter. God Forbid that something were to happen to me during the operation or in Days after, I wanted to have a letter that told you what you mean in my life. If anything were to happen to me I want you to know for sure that I love you very much.

I dreamed of you before I even knew I was pregnant, before you were even a real thought in my head. The moment I found out that I was going to have a baby I cried and thanked God for my miracle. You are a miracle! I remember the day that we found out you were a boy. Daddy was so sure that you were, but not me, I didn't have a feeling either way, but when the Ultra sound tech pointed out the "parts" I immediatly started crying. Deep down I wanted a little guy, someone to be his Momma's Boy! I was never happier!

Then the day you were born. I have told you all about this, but I want you to know that I have never ever regretted the changes we made in our lives for you. I just cannot imagine my life any other way.

Now that you are talking and are understanding your feelings, you tell me that you love me all of the time. Not inresponse to anything that I say, but just out of the blue you will come up to me and say, "Mommy, I lub you!" Each and everytime you say that my heart melts even more. I don't think that anyone loves you as I do. You have lots of people that love you, but none like your Mommy!

So, child of mine, if God were to take me to live with him, you remember that you had a Mommy and that that Mommy loved you more than Life Itself! I know that I will be in heaven looking down on you and with you in every step of your life. It pains me to think that I could ever miss all of the milestones and memories that you have to come, but I will always be in your heart, always.

I have so many things that I want to teach you so I pray that I live a long long time. Really, I have a list of important things. Things that you can't learn in school and that I don't want you to learn from anyone but me. But, if I cannot teach you, I will make sure that your Daddy, Momo, Papa, MiMi, Papa John or Aunt Alexis do!

But most of all, you need to know that You are a Very special guy and you can do anything that you set your mind too. No task is beyond your reach. Never let yourself get down and think that you can't accomplish a goal or that there is anything wrong with you because there is nothing holding you back. I believe in you and know that you will serve this world well. Don't you ever let anyone tell you any different, and if they do, Don't you believe it!

Also know that Both God and Mommy are with you always. Just close your eyes and listen closely and you will hear us speak. We Love you David!

Always yours, Mommy